Mama says trust starts building from the moment you are born. As adults, there are systems in life you HAVE to trust everyday. You have to trust that when you take a breath in, oxygen will fill your lungs. You trust that the toilet will flush (unless you have toddlers, then maybe not). You trust that the grocery store will be open during the hours stated on the door. You trust your Grandma Millie will always try and kiss you on the lips, even though you are 25. You trust your spouse to pick up the kids from school. The list keeps going from there.
As a child, I am learning to trust and also feeling the blessed by a Mama who trusts me. Currently, Mama trusts me to tell her when I need a new diaper. Mama trusts me to steer clear of plug ins and the trash. Mama trusts me to wait patiently while she cuts an apple for my snack. Mama trusts me to show her I am sleepy. Mama trusts me to sit here on this ledge long enough to take my picture.
Mama hasn't always trusted me on a ledge like this. Trust between a mother and child builds with time, much like building any other relationship.
In my short lifespan, she has done many things to develop my sense of trust. These are some of the practices she followed in the first few weeks all the way until now. I know about them because I listen in on all her good conversations.
Step 1
Feed your baby when she asks. A newborn baby needs to to eat often and being able to rely on you to feed her when she is hungry will help her learn to trust you as her parent now and as she grows up. Breastfeeding can enhance this early bonding and trust-building process.
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Step 2
Change your baby's diaper when he needs it. Wearing a wet or soiled diaper is uncomfortable for a baby and keeping him clean and dry allows him to trust you to help him when he needs it and to keep him comfortable.
Step 3
Learn to interpret your baby's cries. She will cry differently when she is hungry than she will when she is tired or bored. Understanding what her cries mean will allow you to quickly meet her needs at the moment, which helps her feel that you are going to be there to care for her when she needs it.
Step 4
Lay your baby down to sleep when he is tired or keep him snuggled to your body. Adequate rest is important for his growth and will allow him to better interact with you when he is awake. This provides opportunities to bond and build trust because he will be well rested and healthy. Rocking your baby and singing to him are also good ways to help your baby learn that he can trust you. These actions will soothe him and make him feel safe when he is with you.
Step 5
Touch your baby. This is done by holding her or lightly massaging her. Babies thrive on skin-to-skin contact, so touch is a powerful way to teach your baby that she can trust you. Touch can also be achieved by playing gently with your baby or giving her a bath.
Read more: http://www.livestrong.com/article/228261-developing-trust-between-parent-baby/#ixzz2STpyPAqu
As I get older, Mama trusts me with new things. I make lots of mistakes along the way. Because Mama trusts me, I have a sense of confidence. Climbing is a great example of how she trusts me. Usually, she watches from afar. I always look around and assess my strategy. When she gets too close, she becomes part of my solution and I don't use all my resources. Often, if she is too close I discard my original plan and ask Mama to pick me up. By staying further away, she is actually fine-tuning my problem solving skills. With her out of arms reach, I evaluate the risk and decide whether I am up for the challenge. I have calculated the risk for this chain ladder multiple times. Many attempts have failed, but finally, at 1 1/2 years old, I have conquered it! Ah, feels good to accomplish a goal.
Each child is different, but they all want your trust. Sometimes parents forget about that.
Opportunities to show your kids they can trust you and telling/showing your children you trust them are both very beneficial. There are times during the day you are already making deposits in your kiddos trust bank. There also might be times when your actions tell them you do not trust them (remaking their bed because they didn't do it right), even if your mouth says you do. Falsely cheering or thanking children for a job well done, doesn't serve any good purpose if they see/know you go back and "fix it" for them.
Do you trust your kids? Do they trust you?
Trying to figure everything out,
Kami Lou
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